OH MY GOSH!
Tomorrow is basically our official "Been friends for 2 years" day!
I added you to my friendslist July 17 2006.
You added me July 19 2006.
I am so excited
Quote by Inversion988
likewise, it's been a while. it almost freaked me out not to hear from you for
so long. so, how you?
Yeah I feel the same way. I may not seem important to you because I'm just some
internet friend that you talk to occasionally, just some whiney teenager brat.
(Although we have talked for a bit over 2 years.)
But I consider you someone I'm close to. I don't have many friends, not because
I can't get any, but because I push everyone away. But you are one of the people
I don't want to push away.
I miss having my bloody RPs with my little Inversion.
*tackle*
I've been okay. In what could barely be called my life, an intricate web has
been spun around me and everything I know.
On a more important note, how're YOU?
merged: 07-17-2008 ~ 12:32am
Quote by Inversion988
i would say i've been doing okay, but that'd be a lie, plain and simple. but
whoever said anything about you NOT being important? you're one of my few main
friends. and you're not the only one like that. except in my case, i just ignore
people a lot cuz for some reason, everyone thinks something's wrong with being
quiet most of the time. it sorta sounds like you've been through a lot, so if
you need to chat, i'm here(as always.)
*tackles back* later.
It seems as if no one is okay anymore, you know? Well, truly and honestly, I
hope things get better or easier, or at least in the end it is rewarding.
I say that I'm not important. So if I am lying then you better take it up with
me. You should beat me with a bat. INV to be specific.
I know I can talk to you. As evil and bloody vicious and quiet as you may be or
seem, I love you and I'm not afraid to talk to you when I want to. Problem is, I
don't know how to explain what I feel. I always have the most amazing
conversations when I am alone, I say things that make everything make sense and
seem clear, but when the words are spoken, I forget them forever, so I bought
myself a tape recorder today.
I've been refreshing my page every 10 minutes for about 5 hours waiting for a
response from you. ^_^
merged: 07-17-2008 ~ 01:50am
Quote by Inversion988
oh, sorry about that. sometimes i leave my computer on when i go somewhere, so
that's why i was just getting around to replying. and relax, there's no need to
hit you with a bat, or anything like that.
i sorta have that problem too, with explaining how i feel and all. i thought
your way of doing so is poems. i must admit, they're quite amazing. my level of
poetics suck, so i stay to myself(sorry, i happened to read a few of your poems
in the chat lounge without replying.)
Yuck, everyone I talk to leaves their computer on, then obsessive little me
waits for hours wondering why I'm being ignored, but I'm patient for those I
care about.
But if it says I am online, then I really am online. And I am speedy to reply to
things.. Usually at least.
Actually I'm glad, I'd rather not be hit by a bat. Whenever I am in need of
punishment, I light my incense and press it against my hand. Like having a
cigarette put out against you, but maybe not as bad, maybe worse. I dunno, never
been touched by a cigarette. But my incense torture hurts like hell, but hey, it
IS punishment.
Yes, poems and writing are my life as well as my way of expressing what I think,
I just think way too many things to remember all the important stuff, but I
remind myself; it is okay to forget sometimes, just write what I do remember and
know and the rest will come back.
It's okay, just knowing you read them puts a smile on my face.
merged: 07-25-2008 ~ 09:34am
I am leaving for 2 weeks tomorrow. I'll be back on August 9. Take care and be
safe, that's an order.
Hello Matt. Thanks for the comment. ^_^
No one else on Minitokyo has acknowledged it is my birthday.
But as long as my friends don't hate me, who cares?
So how have you been?
Quote by "springheeljack298oh
i have been doing alright my spring break started not to long ago we went to
south padre island wich has turned out to be very enjoyable...i havnt had the
opertunity to swim in a long time but there is some trouble i got sunberd today
on my sholders its pretty red though it dosnt hurt much it just seems very hot
anyway i hope i can hear fom you soon take care
love Jack
Well it sounds like is going pretty good
Glad the sunburn didn't hurt really.
Well have a ton of fun with everything else!
I am actually doing pretty well, amazingly.
Hope you are well! ^_^
Quote by springheeljack298
well i hope you feel better take care of yourself cat
im glad your alive you should keep it that way
im glad to hear from you too
Eh, I don't deserve better care.
Life is overrated.. But I have work to do before I let myself die..
Quote by 95ElizabethWhat's with the
IA?; and all that? Never mind.... I write translations when I'm bored... Though
they're not good... Anyway... I just write it again in my own words but is
basically the same thing... cause the japanese translators don't make sense
sometimes...
Why won't you date him again?
I know I thought the IA crud was odd.
I won't because I don't date anymore, no date, no sexual stuff. Bad bad.
Besides, I think we're not on talking terms once again.
Who knows, I don't care much.
But me and Chantz are still tight as can be ^_^
Quote by 95Elizabeth
Lost Butterfly is one of my favourite songs ^_^ And have you seen the english
translation?
Here here! I wrote it! But I can't write but I tried! I just changed it a bit
from the original translation! It doesn't follow the music though!
Like a wandering butterfly in labyrinthâ?¦
It continues to flutter trying to find a way
outâ?¦
What if one day that happened to you?
Rememberâ?¦ Rememberâ?¦
Iâ?m always here for youâ?¦
There are as many reasons for smilingâ?¦
As many as all the hearts in this worldâ?¦
But if you have too muchâ?¦
Youâ?ll lose sight of them allâ?¦
The day that never seems to endâ?¦
Repeatingâ?¦
Repeatingâ?¦
Is starting to change the futureâ?¦
The illusion that comes to us at night named
dreamsâ?¦
Begins to show itselfâ?¦
If your wings catch on fireâ?¦
You would even reach the blazing sunâ?¦
I wish we could turn to ash togetherâ?¦
As you show me that smileâ?¦
Anywayâ?¦
One day I know we will partâ?¦
But I knowâ?¦ But I
knowâ?¦
Itâ?s okay because I met youâ?¦
Far awayâ?¦
Even when weâ?re apartâ?¦
Iâ?ll continue to pray for your
happinessâ?¦
Even if it doesnâ?t reach youâ?¦
Even if it doesnâ?t reach youâ?¦
Iâ?ll sing this song for only youâ?¦
I know it will only be when we dieâ?¦
That we know why we were bornâ?¦
But when that day comes it will be too lateâ?¦
So we continue to wanderâ?¦
When the reality begins to showâ?¦
I know itâ?s changing you to someone
elseâ?¦
But no matter how much you changeâ?¦
You will always be youâ?¦
If you scream loud enoughâ?¦
Or even if you whisper Iâ?ll be
thereâ?¦
Even if your courage to say the truth is a faint
glowâ?¦
The day that never seems to endâ?¦
Is starting to change the futureâ?¦
The illusion that comes to us at night named
dreamsâ?¦
Begins to show itselfâ?¦
If your wings catch on fireâ?¦
You would even reach the blazing sunâ?¦
I wish we could turn to ash togetherâ?¦
As you show me that smileâ?¦
I love the song and translation. ^_^
GUESS WHAT.
My lastest break-up, the one I ranted about and was upset over, came crawling
back. He apologises and says he promised he'd come back and he never stopped
loving me, he just wanted to see if he could live without me or if I was the one
he loved. He is sincere, really. But I'm not going to date him.
Quote by 95Elizabeth
No ones ever loved you before TT^TT But I do! I would die for you even though I
prefer pain than death Sis is the best kuu!
Chantz...? He sounds nice... Better than SOME people with a name that starts
with a vati and ends with a can... He says sorry for leaving me for so long and
making me lonely and dissapears the next day for like a week!
I know you love me, I know that very well. I love you so much. I think about you
a lot. I also put "Lost Butterfly" on my music player so I can learn
the words and sing along when I think of you.
Chantz is great. He's a great guy and I can tell he's different.. But I'm still
starting to push him away.. I kick and fight and try to make him leave.. But he
knows better. He's staying.
Oh dear, people may come and go physically, but we never leave you emotionally,
we will stay by your side in your heart and ours.
Quote by springheeljack298
sorry that i haven't talked to you in a wile i wanted to but i was pretty
busy..i still am come to think of it so how is life going for you good i
hope..ugh i have one ruff week ahead of me..anyway i hope to hear from you soon
luv ya' hugs
It's okay, it's just good to hear from ya period.
Busy... Yeah.. I'm all too busy. Busy with myself. I'm unusually quiet and
miserable right now, but I made myself, I've been off-the-walls and hyper for
the past couple months, made me sick, I finally broke the happy crap. Good to be
dark ol me again..
[[It'll wear off by tomorrow or the day after
]]
Life is... okay. I'm alive, so that's a good sign.
Hehe, sorry for babytalking your scary wary wittle page.
Get online!
We haven't RPed in forever!
merged: 01-15-2008 ~ 08:33am
Quote by Inversion988
great, now my userpage went from "evil" to "scary" hah, very
funny. anyway, i'm doing okay, just a little exausted from working so much. and
sorry about not being online, i'm sorta losing interest in MT so i don't log in
as much. anyway, so how have you been?
Glad you're okay, hope work eases up a little..
Losing interest, eh?
.....
People all leave me one way or another..
Guess you're next to leave.
I've been.... I don't know. It's all ups and downs and too confusing, my mind
automatically erasesany confusing events in my life so as to keep from upsetting
and troubling me.
Quote by 95Elizabeth
If an angel's job is to help those who have just begun their journey... Then a
demons job must be to accept those who have stopped... ^_^ I know it seem as if
it has nothing to do with anything but it does! To me anyway! I just don't get
how you can love so many people... So... Who do you love most of all of them?
^_^
Eh, it is complicated.
See, there is LOVE.. and there is LUST.
I was never loved in my life by family, friends, or romantically.
So when boys started liking me, I took whatever I could get.
I loved them, but they lusted for me, thus creating bad relationships.
Then because of this love/lust combination causing bad experience I wrote of
love as bad, although I'd never had a love/love relationship.
Then I kicked love and decided to lust.
I'd lust/lust with people but I wanted emotion.
Now I do nothing, I stray away from love and lust..
But now people are starting to love me, and I feel nothing.
My bestie Chantz is a great guy, and this time I mean it. He is innocent,
respectful, polite, caring, honest, trustworthy, and he really feels for me.
But I openly told him I don't do dating or love or lust or infatuation
anymore.
He respects that <33
I think if he is a good guy and keeps a good friendship and mild interest in me
for over a year, then he's a keeper.
But it's all very comlplicated, but with every passing day I learn something
new, so the day before every day was more confusing than the one after, so my
past in very complex so I try not to think about it..
Quote by 95Elizabeth
Umm... One thing I HAVE to tell you first... Pitifully terrified...? Who said
anything about being terrified? *pouts* Elizabeth is a big girl now! *pouts
more*
Wow... You sure seem to fall for guys easily... Nathan sounds the best of them
all.. Justice.... Justice sounds like... Like... Like.... Hard to describe since
I don't know him well... I thought... If you loved someone you'd love them most
for at least a few years.... I don't know.... Little tiny elizabeth is stupid!
*knocks head and sounds hollow* I lost my brain on my way home! I don't think
your family is cursed at all ^_^ I find you gifted! You know so much about
things a person that lives a perfect life (Not that it's possible) I'm proud to
call you my sister! And even if you told my friends about all your
relationships! I'll still say you're my big sister with pride! Because I find
sis admirable! ^_^ But.... I think I prefer to go the way of loving someone for
eternity... I wouldn't want to fool around with a guy that's only gonna lasts me
for a few weeks.... I would rather wait forever for my first kiss that's
meaningful instead of kissing a guy that's going to be my most important person
for a few weeks! But I still admire sis! Because she's great even if she married
10 thousand times! ^_^
Hehe I was teasing you, you're not pitifully terrified. Just messing with my
sis. ^_^
I would love to say Nathan was the best, but I'd begin to miss him even more. I
can say all these bad things about him, but there is a good reason and
explanation behind them all... I miss him. But in any case I can't see him
anyways, my family hates him and makes sure we keep a far distance.
My latest break-up was a really great guy.. Nathan's best friend in fact, but he
moved. But he was really sincere. He cared about me and always wanted to hear my
beautiful voice. He was a respectful guy and made me feel like I was worth
something. And only a couple other guys have ever made me feel that. Nathan did,
and my good friend Jesse did. But thanks to me being a freaking sex symbol I
made him kiss me, he was engaged! TT^TT His fiance made him cut contact with
me.. I miss him..
Justice is a sex-hound, But even the worst of them settle down, he is with his
best friend Amanda now and I wish them good luck.
And the few years theory? Umm not really. It is a big accomplishment to last a
year or more. And at our age, that is a seldom to rare chance that would ever
happen for us.
Thing is, I'd rather be with a guy for a few weeks, we're supposed to, you date
until you know what you're looking for.
I'm fine ^_^
How've you been? ^_^
Thanks for complimenting my work *^^*
merged: 01-03-2008 ~ 11:08am
Quote by springheeljack298
im glad your doing good
im alright i have to go to school though sigh..oh well just 2 days till the
weekend
oh your welcome iv always thought that you did a very good job
Darn I sure do miss talking to you.
I'll be getting internet at my house on the 4th.
Until then I only get on when I can; library, Mother's house, etc.
Praise for the weekend ^_^
For me, school starts back up on the 7th.
But I love school, I have dedicated my life to knowledge.
I'm proud of my poems lately.
Speaking of which, I'm gonna go post another.
i'm just a random girl, but i just had to drop by...
read your poems, though i apologize cuz i'm a lil late in both reading and
commenting... but better late than never ne...
just had to tell you that you have amazing talent! keep it up yea! your
potential is .......just simply fascinating!
if you don't mind, i will add you to my watchlist ^^ that way i'll be able to
catch your poem earlier on!
thanks for the great share ^^ keep it up! Q(^_^Q)
Sincerely,
Lioness
Late is better than never ^_^ And I always appreicate comments on new or old
works.
Thanks for the compliments on my work, most of my poems are life lessons, or my
beliefs or random abstractities.
And thanks much for adding me to your wl ^_^
See you around, and feel free to drop me a line sometime ^_^
Quote by 95Elizabeth
....... Sis... You know... You're really bad at choosing boys..... Why do you
give yourself to boys so easily? My sister is smart! I know it! But sometimes
she can be so stupid.... It hurts me to see you like this.... My aunt was
married to a man she never slept with for 18 years.... Why do you let them use
you like that?If they loved you... They would love you even if you didn't even
kiss them once before.... Do they know everything about you? Do you know
everything about them? Would they die for you? How long have you met them? I
don't get it.... These love affairs of yours are so fake! Sis is way smarter
than this.... I believe that because I believe in you! It's.... insincere... Why
do you give them yourself so easily...? And why do they want you anyway? But at
the same time I have to tell you... To love is to let go ^^ Anyway! You have me
right? Though I'm tiny and bony and I'm scared of every single thing like horror
movies! And sometimes I run around screaming like a 5 year old when I get chased
by dogs! I still have my voice that annoys everyone so much they hopefully
forget to worry! ^_^
It's not that easy.. Whether you believe in curses or not, I believe
fully-heartedly that my family is cursed. Cursed by love. Every man a woman in
my family gets together with gets knocked up, used, abused, and left. We've seen
all the guys, the sweet and respectful ones, the hardcore and tough ones, the
quiet and mysterious ones. I have yet to meet a guy not like that. BUT guess
what? It isn't my selection in guys-- IT'S ME! I'm too naturally seductive.. I
lead guys on and manipulate them. I can make anyone do whatever I want.. But the
worse things all start with a little incident.. If I had never had my first kiss
with Justice, I wouldn't have screwed around with him the next year, and then I
never would've been a sexual person and I'd never be in this situation. But I
don't pout about the past. I am just done. No more dating, no more sexual.
Solves everything... I wish. I'm still a sexual person and I can't help but come
onto guys... I'm bi so I have plenty of girls I seduced too and make bi.. I'm
very good at being flirty.. Too good. I hate it but I can't help it. I fight it
with all my might. I don't give myself up easy... I have no self-esteem, never
have, so I make guys want me and make them take me. And my guy I lost my
innocence with, Nathan.... I really hate to admit it but I miss him.. No matter
how hard I try to hate him. And he did love me, I never kisseed hima nd he
respected that, until I cheated on him by screwing around with Justice, then I
felt I owed him.. He never made me do anything, I come off as "that
type" so therefore I must deal with the consequences.. But no more, I am
letting people know straight-out I don't do that stuff anymore. And yes, I knew
everything about my past couple loves and they knew all about me, and yes I know
more than anything, or did know, that they'd die for me. They'd cry for me. I
knew them for months. Nathan I knew for a few months, but he was a best friend
to me, and he was so respectful. He was even nervous about asking me out in fear
it was too soon. He was great.. and it saddens me to think of all the great
stuff we had.. But even when I've just met someone, I can tell who they are
inside.. And I have never really been wrong. My last guy I knew for .75 of a
year, but saw him scarce lately. But he knew more about me than anyone. There
was something very special about us. But my feelings are twisted, they let
anyone have them, it's easy to capture my interest and attention, but not easy
to capture my heart..
But you are my pitifully terrified little sister whom I love so much. And I know
you won't leave me.. But I've felt that about other people before too...
I dunno, got that poem picture from another friend on a different site.
I am very discontent.
But very happy, I had another revelation.
LOVE SUCK NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.
I'm so happy I realized that. I always warned people but never took the advice
myself... I was in a relationship with someone I cared for very very much.. I
cared about him enough to lose my innocence with him... He hasn't talked to me
since. he got what he wanted and left. Oh I never would've guessed he'd do that,
he was sweet and we cared deeply for one another, I never believed I'd be one of
those people that get used, I'd never be in that situation, nooo. But we're
wrong, we're all wrong. And after that I get cozy with another guy, I was weary
about trying love again, but he promised it'd be differen.t Promised he would
help me when I cried. Promised to love me forvever. NO! It was an over-the-phone
relationship, he lives in the state below me. I felt safe, I can't get used I
figured.. But I was, once again. And he dumped me, once again. Last night. I
can't believe I EVER BELIEVED things would be DIFFERENT! They never will be...
Quote by 95Elizabeth
TT^TT I..... I love you! Everyone who heard me say that thinks I'm mentally
challenged! I'm so glad you don't hate me now!
Like love! It hurts! But it's great! I won't forget the good and the bad... Some
people always wish they wouldn't remember the bad things in life... But if thy
forget the bad... they're throwing away a part of themselves..... I appreciate
every second of my life.... Good and bad.... Life are like stairs! If there's a
broken step.... You can't just stop going up! Because then you'll never reach
your destination! No matter how dangerous it is you still have to go up! Even if
the steps are made of needles! And I'll help you up when you can't! ^^ I know I
can't be there for you all the time since I can't see you or anything... But
I'll use my blabber mouth to help you! My nonsense! Heheh!
Caterpillar... yeah... You're like a caterpillar.... ^^ But you know... a
butterfly and a caterpillar... Is the same... Still the same person.... The same
soul... The same faults... It just changed it's skin! Like a crystal that looks
like a rock! And a crystal that is taken out of the rock! It's valuable
whichever it is!
So I'll love you no matter what you choose to become! caterpillar or butterfly!
Because you are you and forever will be you no matter how much you change!
yeah... Love like in the dark... I love your poems! Much better than the
meaningless happy go lucky ones that are talking about useless things...
I'm going to do great things...? never... knew..... Thought I was just blabbing
nonsense... heh....
I could never hate you, and that is one thing I know is true.
Your "blabber" always helps me out, just know that. You're not useless
and I need you.
Your nonsense babble is very wise. You and I... are very alike.. In a spiritual
sense. You made me beam with pride.. Know that. I want to be with you, I want to
show you many things. But talking to you makes me happy enough.
You know more than your years have shown you. You see with your mind's eye. You
use more of your brain than the average person, you have a very strong aura, and
you can do much with it.
merged: 12-28-2007 ~ 01:09pm
Quote by 95Elizabeth
Thank you! TT^TT
You know... It's incredible... How you can read auras!
You I know.... Lots of people say "Woah... She might look little but she
knows a more about life than me!"
heheh! But that's just cause of how I've lived in these years! Lots has happened
to me in 11 years of living!
I just have a feeling about you. Something makes me smile. Of course it's you.
Yes, lots has happened, but you can see far beyond your years. You speak of what
you have never known or seen. Things you lived in yuor past lives, things
waiting to be discovered. All that information and memories in your mind,
speaking through you.
Quote by 95Elizabeth
You know... Sometimes you seem perfect.... Though I see your faults but I still
think you're perfect... You have a heart of gold and golden hair! You're quite
pretty! Not lying! But the more important thing is! You're really really nice! I
love you!
Well you are the first and only person I'll believe when you say I seem perfect.
That's because I know you see my faults, and you accept them. Perfect means
having faults that are accepted. A person who is called perfect usually is one
whose faults are unknown. You're pretty damn perfect, to me at very least. I
love you very much. I feel at rest when I talk to you. People underestimate my
heart and mind, thank you very much for appreciating them. I'm okay-looking ;D
And no matter what you say you are, you are very sweet, even if you don't act
that way to others or are treated that way, you have a very kind heart, even if
there is some ice on it, we'll melt it together. I promise. <33
merged: 12-28-2007 ~ 12:11pm
Quote by 95Elizabeth
....... You know.... Vatican right...? He told me something.... God would love
me more than he will ever love me.... He makes me pretty angry at times... He's
really dense!
I love you.... And I believe you when you say you feel that I'm perfect....
Because I hate being judged by looks.... Like they say! A blind man sees the
clearer side of things when a man with 6 eyes only sees a stone! heh! No
actually... That's what I say! Cause a blind man would even fall in love with
someone that's the ugliest in this world but see the golden heart in them that
shines brightly! Don't mind me! I never make any sense! heheh.... I hate your
parents for ruining your life... but I thank them for bringing you into this
world.... Even if they say you're a mistake like mine does... I know they love
you... And even if they don't! They have 2 eyes but only see a stone then! They
must be looking the wrong way! The true blind people are the ones who see the
caterpillar before the turned into a butterfly! I'm getting the feeling I have
mentally challenged problems with me! But really.... Even though I can't see
you.... To me.... I think you're like a crystal! It looks like a rock in the
out-side but once you open it... It shines brighter than a plastic crystal that
shines outside but when you open it the plastic covers all the brightness it
holds! Like the moon! When you look at it... It shines brightly but the parts
you don't see... Is filled with dents and holes.... Ah.... I'm so sorry! You
must think I'm weird! I'm sorry! I make no sense!
Relax! You make perfect sense to me, I'm a poet remember? Yep,
and whether I know how someone looks or not, I always judge by their heart...
Looking at someone, I just.. know.
Exactly like my poem "Love like in the Dark", huh?
The thing is... I thanks my parents for my bad treatment... If I was.. raised
well... I wouldn't be.. me. I wouldn't be so deep, so understanding. I wouldn't
be thoughtful, I'd be another worthless waste of life. My pain made me
blossom.
My.. nickname is.. Caterpillar ^_^ Because.. I refuse to be a butterfly until
people respect as see me as the caterpillar I am. I want people to love me for
the right reasons, instead of being a pretty butterfly.
You aren't mentally-challenged either ^_^ You're thoughtful and understanding,
you have a very strong power in you. You speak with your mind, sometimes not
knowing what you're saying. You'll do great things in life. Trust me.
Hello hello hello to you too!
I didn't figure you'd drop by my page to say hi.
It was a very pleasant surprise
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Really, hope your life is doing well.
Anyways, I am off to go post a couple more poems.
Then I'm gonna make a new club.
And I'll try to revive canine-lovers ;____;
Quote by asinineO.o wow... i didnt know
they were flesh eating scarabs...
Its funny how you can giggle and all while you are being eaten.. you would have
given all the cannibals out there, pleasure in eating you.
Bravo... your really skilled with your tongue and wow you actually have some
tonge muscle training i can hardly press any button with my tongue
Birds.. wow thats a nice name.. And no one asking you to use your tongue to type
O.O O.o eww..
hmm you lost your computer? How did that happen?
OWWWWWWWWW horrible ringing in my ears!
Owww..... I can hear when an electronic device is on, it hurts sometimes.
;__;
Anyways! Yep, I can bring a giggley smile toi any situation
I\'m just pretty much amazing.
Yeaaahhhh. I have tongue muscle. But my teeth are amazing I
love to bite-fight.
It can be very deadly at times for other people though
......Anyways.
Ehh I didn\'t exactly lose my computer, per say. But my friend got a horrible
bug on it that closed down all program systems and then it wouldn\'t turn on and
we had to get rid of it, it was pretty futile trying to prepare it.
Quote by GearStalker05
That is true. It is a sign of recovery.
As for your situation, I know it's not much to say, but hang in there. I pray
that things continue to look up for you.
As always, if you ever feel like chatting, no matter what the reason, feel free
to drop a line. I'm always willing to lend an ear.
I think things will never look up for me, and I'm not being
pessimistic.
I just know that after every bad incident there is good one, but the opposite is
also true.
I used to spend my time hating the good times because bad would follow and I'd
waste happiness on preparing for the bad, but now I think I'll just enjoy the
good times, although knowing the bad is right around the corner.
OH MY GOSH!
Tomorrow is basically our official "Been friends for 2 years" day!
I added you to my friendslist July 17 2006.
You added me July 19 2006.
I am so excited
I misse you so much!
merged: 07-16-2008 ~ 12:32pm
Yeah I feel the same way. I may not seem important to you because I'm just some internet friend that you talk to occasionally, just some whiney teenager brat.
(Although we have talked for a bit over 2 years.)
But I consider you someone I'm close to. I don't have many friends, not because I can't get any, but because I push everyone away. But you are one of the people I don't want to push away.
I miss having my bloody RPs with my little Inversion.
*tackle*
I've been okay. In what could barely be called my life, an intricate web has been spun around me and everything I know.
On a more important note, how're YOU?
merged: 07-17-2008 ~ 12:32am
It seems as if no one is okay anymore, you know? Well, truly and honestly, I hope things get better or easier, or at least in the end it is rewarding.
I say that I'm not important. So if I am lying then you better take it up with me. You should beat me with a bat. INV to be specific.
I know I can talk to you. As evil and bloody vicious and quiet as you may be or seem, I love you and I'm not afraid to talk to you when I want to. Problem is, I don't know how to explain what I feel. I always have the most amazing conversations when I am alone, I say things that make everything make sense and seem clear, but when the words are spoken, I forget them forever, so I bought myself a tape recorder today.
I've been refreshing my page every 10 minutes for about 5 hours waiting for a response from you. ^_^
merged: 07-17-2008 ~ 01:50am
Yuck, everyone I talk to leaves their computer on, then obsessive little me waits for hours wondering why I'm being ignored, but I'm patient for those I care about.
But if it says I am online, then I really am online. And I am speedy to reply to things.. Usually at least.
Actually I'm glad, I'd rather not be hit by a bat. Whenever I am in need of punishment, I light my incense and press it against my hand. Like having a cigarette put out against you, but maybe not as bad, maybe worse. I dunno, never been touched by a cigarette. But my incense torture hurts like hell, but hey, it IS punishment.
Yes, poems and writing are my life as well as my way of expressing what I think, I just think way too many things to remember all the important stuff, but I remind myself; it is okay to forget sometimes, just write what I do remember and know and the rest will come back.
It's okay, just knowing you read them puts a smile on my face.
merged: 07-25-2008 ~ 09:34am
I am leaving for 2 weeks tomorrow. I'll be back on August 9. Take care and be safe, that's an order.
Hello Matt. Thanks for the comment. ^_^
No one else on Minitokyo has acknowledged it is my birthday.
But as long as my friends don't hate me, who cares?
So how have you been?
Well it sounds like is going pretty good
Glad the sunburn didn't hurt really.
Well have a ton of fun with everything else!
I am actually doing pretty well, amazingly.
Hope you are well! ^_^
I am doing okay I suppose.
I have seriously missed you!
How have you been?
Eh, I don't deserve better care.
Life is overrated.. But I have work to do before I let myself die..
But more importantly, how are you?
I know I thought the IA crud was odd.
I won't because I don't date anymore, no date, no sexual stuff. Bad bad.
Besides, I think we're not on talking terms once again.
Who knows, I don't care much.
But me and Chantz are still tight as can be ^_^
I love the song and translation. ^_^
GUESS WHAT.
My lastest break-up, the one I ranted about and was upset over, came crawling back. He apologises and says he promised he'd come back and he never stopped loving me, he just wanted to see if he could live without me or if I was the one he loved. He is sincere, really. But I'm not going to date him.
I know you love me, I know that very well. I love you so much. I think about you a lot. I also put "Lost Butterfly" on my music player so I can learn the words and sing along when I think of you.
Chantz is great. He's a great guy and I can tell he's different.. But I'm still starting to push him away.. I kick and fight and try to make him leave.. But he knows better. He's staying.
Oh dear, people may come and go physically, but we never leave you emotionally, we will stay by your side in your heart and ours.
It's okay, it's just good to hear from ya period.
Busy... Yeah.. I'm all too busy. Busy with myself. I'm unusually quiet and miserable right now, but I made myself, I've been off-the-walls and hyper for the past couple months, made me sick, I finally broke the happy crap. Good to be dark ol me again..
[[It'll wear off by tomorrow or the day after
]]
Life is... okay. I'm alive, so that's a good sign.
Glad to hear from you.
Hewwo my wittle inverty werty!
I missed yewww!
How ish you beeeen?
^o^
Hehe, sorry for babytalking your scary wary wittle page.
Get online!
We haven't RPed in forever!
merged: 01-15-2008 ~ 08:33am
Glad you're okay, hope work eases up a little..
Losing interest, eh?
.....
People all leave me one way or another..
Guess you're next to leave.
I've been.... I don't know. It's all ups and downs and too confusing, my mind automatically erasesany confusing events in my life so as to keep from upsetting and troubling me.
So I don't really know how I've been.
Eh, it is complicated.
See, there is LOVE.. and there is LUST.
I was never loved in my life by family, friends, or romantically.
So when boys started liking me, I took whatever I could get.
I loved them, but they lusted for me, thus creating bad relationships.
Then because of this love/lust combination causing bad experience I wrote of love as bad, although I'd never had a love/love relationship.
Then I kicked love and decided to lust.
I'd lust/lust with people but I wanted emotion.
Now I do nothing, I stray away from love and lust..
But now people are starting to love me, and I feel nothing.
My bestie Chantz is a great guy, and this time I mean it. He is innocent, respectful, polite, caring, honest, trustworthy, and he really feels for me.
But I openly told him I don't do dating or love or lust or infatuation anymore.
He respects that <33
I think if he is a good guy and keeps a good friendship and mild interest in me for over a year, then he's a keeper.
But it's all very comlplicated, but with every passing day I learn something new, so the day before every day was more confusing than the one after, so my past in very complex so I try not to think about it..
So very sorry for the late reply.
Love you sis.
Hehe I was teasing you, you're not pitifully terrified. Just messing with my sis. ^_^
I would love to say Nathan was the best, but I'd begin to miss him even more. I can say all these bad things about him, but there is a good reason and explanation behind them all... I miss him. But in any case I can't see him anyways, my family hates him and makes sure we keep a far distance.
My latest break-up was a really great guy.. Nathan's best friend in fact, but he moved. But he was really sincere. He cared about me and always wanted to hear my beautiful voice. He was a respectful guy and made me feel like I was worth something. And only a couple other guys have ever made me feel that. Nathan did, and my good friend Jesse did. But thanks to me being a freaking sex symbol I made him kiss me, he was engaged! TT^TT His fiance made him cut contact with me.. I miss him..
Justice is a sex-hound, But even the worst of them settle down, he is with his best friend Amanda now and I wish them good luck.
And the few years theory? Umm not really. It is a big accomplishment to last a year or more. And at our age, that is a seldom to rare chance that would ever happen for us.
Thing is, I'd rather be with a guy for a few weeks, we're supposed to, you date until you know what you're looking for.
I'm fine ^_^
How've you been? ^_^
Thanks for complimenting my work *^^*
merged: 01-03-2008 ~ 11:08am
Darn I sure do miss talking to you.
I'll be getting internet at my house on the 4th.
Until then I only get on when I can; library, Mother's house, etc.
Praise for the weekend ^_^
For me, school starts back up on the 7th.
But I love school, I have dedicated my life to knowledge.
I'm proud of my poems lately.
Speaking of which, I'm gonna go post another.
Late is better than never ^_^ And I always appreicate comments on new or old works.
Thanks for the compliments on my work, most of my poems are life lessons, or my beliefs or random abstractities.
And thanks much for adding me to your wl ^_^
See you around, and feel free to drop me a line sometime ^_^
It's not that easy.. Whether you believe in curses or not, I believe fully-heartedly that my family is cursed. Cursed by love. Every man a woman in my family gets together with gets knocked up, used, abused, and left. We've seen all the guys, the sweet and respectful ones, the hardcore and tough ones, the quiet and mysterious ones. I have yet to meet a guy not like that. BUT guess what? It isn't my selection in guys-- IT'S ME! I'm too naturally seductive.. I lead guys on and manipulate them. I can make anyone do whatever I want.. But the worse things all start with a little incident.. If I had never had my first kiss with Justice, I wouldn't have screwed around with him the next year, and then I never would've been a sexual person and I'd never be in this situation. But I don't pout about the past. I am just done. No more dating, no more sexual. Solves everything... I wish. I'm still a sexual person and I can't help but come onto guys... I'm bi so I have plenty of girls I seduced too and make bi.. I'm very good at being flirty.. Too good. I hate it but I can't help it. I fight it with all my might. I don't give myself up easy... I have no self-esteem, never have, so I make guys want me and make them take me. And my guy I lost my innocence with, Nathan.... I really hate to admit it but I miss him.. No matter how hard I try to hate him. And he did love me, I never kisseed hima nd he respected that, until I cheated on him by screwing around with Justice, then I felt I owed him.. He never made me do anything, I come off as "that type" so therefore I must deal with the consequences.. But no more, I am letting people know straight-out I don't do that stuff anymore. And yes, I knew everything about my past couple loves and they knew all about me, and yes I know more than anything, or did know, that they'd die for me. They'd cry for me. I knew them for months. Nathan I knew for a few months, but he was a best friend to me, and he was so respectful. He was even nervous about asking me out in fear it was too soon. He was great.. and it saddens me to think of all the great stuff we had.. But even when I've just met someone, I can tell who they are inside.. And I have never really been wrong. My last guy I knew for .75 of a year, but saw him scarce lately. But he knew more about me than anyone. There was something very special about us. But my feelings are twisted, they let anyone have them, it's easy to capture my interest and attention, but not easy to capture my heart..
But you are my pitifully terrified little sister whom I love so much. And I know you won't leave me.. But I've felt that about other people before too...
I dunno, got that poem picture from another friend on a different site.
I am very discontent.
But very happy, I had another revelation.
LOVE SUCK NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.
I'm so happy I realized that. I always warned people but never took the advice myself... I was in a relationship with someone I cared for very very much.. I cared about him enough to lose my innocence with him... He hasn't talked to me since. he got what he wanted and left. Oh I never would've guessed he'd do that, he was sweet and we cared deeply for one another, I never believed I'd be one of those people that get used, I'd never be in that situation, nooo. But we're wrong, we're all wrong. And after that I get cozy with another guy, I was weary about trying love again, but he promised it'd be differen.t Promised he would help me when I cried. Promised to love me forvever. NO! It was an over-the-phone relationship, he lives in the state below me. I felt safe, I can't get used I figured.. But I was, once again. And he dumped me, once again. Last night. I can't believe I EVER BELIEVED things would be DIFFERENT! They never will be...
Well I don't doubt the best friends or twins theory, but I gotta go to bed ^_^
I could never hate you, and that is one thing I know is true.
Your "blabber" always helps me out, just know that. You're not useless and I need you.
Your nonsense babble is very wise. You and I... are very alike.. In a spiritual sense. You made me beam with pride.. Know that. I want to be with you, I want to show you many things. But talking to you makes me happy enough.
You know more than your years have shown you. You see with your mind's eye. You use more of your brain than the average person, you have a very strong aura, and you can do much with it.
merged: 12-28-2007 ~ 01:09pm
I just have a feeling about you. Something makes me smile. Of course it's you. Yes, lots has happened, but you can see far beyond your years. You speak of what you have never known or seen. Things you lived in yuor past lives, things waiting to be discovered. All that information and memories in your mind, speaking through you.
Omigosh... O_O
It's lonely here....
No guestbook comments, no mutual friends, no favorites, no submissions, no NOTHING!
Omigad scary!
O_O
Well at least now you have a comment <33
Are you unactive.... or just a little loner?
I watched the video ^_^
It was quite nice.
I really like it.
Love you! <3333
merged: 12-28-2007 ~ 11:20am
Well you are the first and only person I'll believe when you say I seem perfect. That's because I know you see my faults, and you accept them. Perfect means having faults that are accepted. A person who is called perfect usually is one whose faults are unknown. You're pretty damn perfect, to me at very least. I love you very much. I feel at rest when I talk to you. People underestimate my heart and mind, thank you very much for appreciating them. I'm okay-looking ;D And no matter what you say you are, you are very sweet, even if you don't act that way to others or are treated that way, you have a very kind heart, even if there is some ice on it, we'll melt it together. I promise. <33
merged: 12-28-2007 ~ 12:11pm
Relax! You make perfect sense to me, I'm a poet remember?
Yep,
and whether I know how someone looks or not, I always judge by their heart...
Looking at someone, I just.. know.
Exactly like my poem "Love like in the Dark", huh?
The thing is... I thanks my parents for my bad treatment... If I was.. raised well... I wouldn't be.. me. I wouldn't be so deep, so understanding. I wouldn't be thoughtful, I'd be another worthless waste of life. My pain made me blossom.
My.. nickname is.. Caterpillar ^_^ Because.. I refuse to be a butterfly until people respect as see me as the caterpillar I am. I want people to love me for the right reasons, instead of being a pretty butterfly.
You aren't mentally-challenged either ^_^ You're thoughtful and understanding, you have a very strong power in you. You speak with your mind, sometimes not knowing what you're saying. You'll do great things in life. Trust me.
Hello hello hello to you too!
I didn't figure you'd drop by my page to say hi.
It was a very pleasant surprise
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Really, hope your life is doing well.
Anyways, I am off to go post a couple more poems.
Then I'm gonna make a new club.
And I'll try to revive canine-lovers ;____;
OWWWWWWWWW horrible ringing in my ears!
I
love to bite-fight.
Owww..... I can hear when an electronic device is on, it hurts sometimes. ;__;
Anyways! Yep, I can bring a giggley smile toi any situation
I\'m just pretty much amazing.
Yeaaahhhh. I have tongue muscle. But my teeth are amazing
It can be very deadly at times for other people though
......Anyways.
Ehh I didn\'t exactly lose my computer, per say. But my friend got a horrible bug on it that closed down all program systems and then it wouldn\'t turn on and we had to get rid of it, it was pretty futile trying to prepare it.
I think things will never look up for me, and I'm not being pessimistic.
I just know that after every bad incident there is good one, but the opposite is also true.
I used to spend my time hating the good times because bad would follow and I'd waste happiness on preparing for the bad, but now I think I'll just enjoy the good times, although knowing the bad is right around the corner.
I'll be sure to talk to you if I need it ^_^
Merry Christmas as well.